What You Don't Know (Lulu Wang) is about a difficult situation and how a Chinese family deals with it. Lulu Wang is out in a hard decision on whether to lie with her family. Nainai, her grandmother, has been diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer and is believed to only have three months or less to live. The family decides not to tell her because it is believed that mental and emotional health is linked to physical health, so not telling her will prolong her life. Lulu Wang is conflicted with keeping the secret and lying. I will give my opinion in this blog about how the Wang family handled this difficult decision and about a time I was faced with a difficult decision.
Throughout the podcast my view on lying to Nainai changed. At first, I felt that it was very wrong to not tell Nainai about her diagnoses because I think I would want to know if I had only a few months to live. In China, the doctors believe to disclose bad medical results to the patient’s family instead of the patients themselves. Chinese culture believes in chongxi which translates to you can wash away misfortune with joy. Her family believed that not telling her would give her longer to live. By the end of the podcast I agreed to them not telling Nainai about her health. Nainai ended up living for three more years with the cancer and remained healthy. It is believed to be related to the fact that her mental health never declined since the family never told her about the cancer. Lulu Wang also reveals that Nainai did the same thing to her husband; not telling him of his sickness. Her action is what really changed my opinion. Nainai lying and doing the same thing to a loved one shows that she is fine with lying about illness to protect mental health. I understand their choice to lie to Nainai about her illness to keep her happy. It is very difficult to find something that made a big impact on someone’s life that I lied or told the truth about. After hours of thinking I finally settled on a time where I told a difficult truth. Life was not partially nice growing up in my life. My mother struggled with drugs and bad men for a majority of my childhood. There were many occasions when food and heat were slim to none. Being the oldest sibling of three, I had to make a very hard decision on whether to speak up and say something to my grandmother or aunt for help. After what seemed like an eternity, I finally decided to reach for help. Telling a mother that their child has been facing a difficult battle of drugs is hard thing to do. At first my grandmother chose not to believe it even when all the signs were there. I had to remind her about the countless times she had to buy us clothes for school or filling our red kitchen cabinets with food. I also chose to get my aunt involved as it would be easier to help my Grand mom come to terms of something needs to be done. We all decided to have an intervention and sit my mother down and tell her how we feel and how things need to be changed. As hard as that time and day of the meeting was, I am glad I did it. It was what was needed to be done and helped my family in the long run. My mom sought help and started going to meetings. She is now a home owner and engaged to finally a decent man who doesn’t treat her like a punching bag. My brother and I are both grown now and currently check in to make sure everything is well. We both love seeing how well our younger brother is taken care of and provided for. He is finally getting the childhood he deserves. I do not regret my difficult decision one bit.
4 Comments
Sabatino
2/13/2018 09:37:03 am
Thank your for sharing such an insightful and personal post. I appreciate that you explain how your opinion changed when Wang provided more context about her family's culture and belief systems.
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Katina
2/13/2018 03:46:16 pm
I thought it was really cool how you explained why your opinion changed throughout the reading. I initially had the same thought process while reading Wang's story. You did a really great job on this blog post!
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Hailey Wallace
2/13/2018 03:51:01 pm
I understand why your opinion changed about the family not telling their grandmother of her illness but it's so hard for me to agree with it personally because I know if I ever did find out that somebody lied to me about something so important I could never find a way to forgive them. I barely know you but I'm honestly so proud that you decided to speak up about your personal situation. I know that was probably so hard for you to do, but in the end you improved so many people's lives including the one person who needed it most!
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2/13/2018 03:51:14 pm
I agree with your reasoning from start to finish no one should be lied to about death, but if it's a culture then it shall be done.
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victoria KuonenI will write in this blog for my English Composition class. Archives
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